As a teenager, Elfman dated his classmate Kim Gordon, who would later become one of the members of the rock band Sonic Youth. He has two daughters, Lola and Mali, from his marriage to Geri Eisenmenger. Mali is a film producer and actress. Elfman and Mali collaborated on her 2011 film Do Not Disturb. On November 29, 2003, Elfman married actress Bridget Fonda. They have a son, Oliver. In 1998, Elfman scored A Simple Plan, starring Fonda. He is the uncle of actor Bodhi Elfman, who is married to actress Jenna Elfman. Elfman has been an atheist since the age of 11 or 12. According to him, he is a cynicologist.Describing his politics during the 1980s, Elfman said, "I'm not a doomist. My attitude is always to be critical of what's around you, but not ever to forget how lucky we are. I've traveled around the world. I left thinking I was a revolutionary. I came back real right-wing patriotic. Since then, I've kind of mellowed in between." Several of his songs written for Oingo Boingo during this period satirized social politics, although Elfman stated his message was to "question, resist, challenge" and that his songs were not aligned to any one political agenda.In 2008, Elfman expressed support for Barack Obama. For the 2020 Democratic National Convention, he scored the biographical video played ahead of Joe Biden's acceptance of the presidential nomination in the 2020 United States elections. In a series of posts on his Instagram page discussing the video, Elfman criticized Donald Trump, Richard Nixon, and the electoral college, and linked to several voter resources.During his 18 years with Oingo Boingo, Elfman developed significant hearing damage as a result of the continuous exposure to the high noise levels involved in performing in a rock band. Afraid of worsening his condition, he decided to leave the band, saying that he would never return to that kind of performance. His impairment was so bad that he could not "even sit in a loud restaurant or bar anymore." However, he found performing in front of orchestras more tolerable, and returned several times to reprise his live performance of Jack Skellington.